My baby is growing up... TOO FAST!

I can't help but do a quick post of how big my baby is getting... we celebrated her 2 month birthday this past week and here are some pictures to show it! Sad how fast time flies but so thankful we have a happy and healthy baby now! We love her so much!

Sitting up in her Bumbo.. really at 2 months??
Awe Sleeping....

Showing Mama what a big girl she is! Don't you just wanna pinch those cheeks?

Formally introducing....

(I hope to eventually finish up my "DAYS" at the hospital journaling... but until then)

Here is our baby announcement.. FINALLY!! :)

{DAY 6}

Day Six:

On day six, we got to the hospital from being home to sleep and she was progressing but they wouldn't make any promises on whether to take her c pap machine off. However they kept turning it down lower and lower all day and said that by 2:00 p.m. they wanted to try putting her back on the high flow oxygen. Well all went well and by 2:00 they had her c pap on and put her back on high flow. She was SOOO happy about having that terrible machine off her face and so were we. She still felt pretty crappy and couldn't eat, which just made her very mad still. The day was pretty slow, just a watch and wait game. We went to dinner that night and before we left, Addy had been awake for over an hour just staring and looking at us. That was the longest I had seen her awake in days and days! It was sooo nice! In fact, we weren't going to come back after dinner but I just couldn't stay away so we stopped by for a few minutes after dinner to say goodnight.....

Awe, feeling much better with that darn mask off her face!

Giving daddy the lovey, save me look

Still pretty tired and worn out.. and HUNGRY!

Poor chapped lips..

Tender, couldn't miss this picture moment!

{DAY 5}

Day Five:

We returned back from home on Day Five to see that Addy had a good night, the breathing tube still wasn't in the clear but she was doing ok. Day five was pretty much a sit and wait day, nothing too exciting, no changes really. She was breathing ok with the machine and didn't need to go up or down really. So I just pretty much sat here and watched movies and played on the internet.. tee hee! In the afternoon they decided she was probably away from the breathing tube and decided they could now give her a feeding tube (she hadnt eaten for over 48 hours) and she was mad about that i promise!! Anyhow, they got feeding tube number 1 in. Its quite a process. The instert the tube, tape it and then have an x ray done to make sure its in the right place. So they insterted it, x rayed it and it wasn't in the right spot, so they had to replace and re x ray again. Then it was good, taped and ready to go. Well miss prissy pants decided she didn't like the tube, so she pulled it out a couple hours later. They tried to just place again really fast, x rayed it and sure enough, not in the right spot.. so they pulled it out and put a new one in. As they were getting ready to tape that one, she again pulled it out... so they gave her a break, we went to dinner so I didn't have to watch that again and when we came back, she had another feeding tube and her hands were bundled in a blanket to keep them away. Gotta love the spunk of my little munchkin!!! :) Things other than that were pretty calm for Addy on day five. We went home to catch some zzzzz and returned the next morning....

I brought a flower to put on her hat, cause if you know me.. she has to be dolled up at all times!

Mom and Addy


She hates it alot.. and has to be sedated alot to tolerate it

Awe those eyes are so sad.. so very sad....

Wanting food... and now.. I LOVE this pictre and this face.. and I love Addyson

Still missing my Peyton though.. its really tough to seperate the kids... an have to be with one and not the other... really really hard.. hopefully soon we will all be together again..

{DAY4}

Day Four:

Day Four began with Dean and I coming early from being home sleeping to find they they indeed had to put our sweet baby on the C Pap machine. As you will see in the pictures below, its the saddest things EVER!! She HATES it... they kept telling us over and over how feisty she is and she kept swatting her hands trying to pull it out of her nose. She did ok on the C Pap machine for a bit but as they day went on they started to talk about putting her on a breathing tube. What a scary though. Well they finally decided she was working way to hard and got everything prepped for the feeding tube.. I left the unit because i couldn't watch and went to inform our family and friends. I returned back to find that they hadn't done it. I guess one doc wanted to and one doc didn't. So it was a battle.. they sent off for more testing. Gas tests to check the CO2 in her blood. First one came back great, so they did one every hour to try to see how it was, it never went back the other way towards bad, so luckily they didn't have to do a tube.. however they would keep us wondering for the next day or so cause they still weren't positive that she wouldn't need one. She had a rough day on the C Pap and hated it so much, so hard to see. That evening we were lucky enough to have my Grandpa and Grandma Walton to visit and Grandpa offered to give her a blessing. We figured it couldn't hurt so we did. It actually did make me feel alot better, anything at this point helps. We then left again to go home and sleep and hoped for the best...

Daddy and Addy

The awful C Pap Machine

{DAY 3}

Ok pictures wanted to be first on this post I guess....

My poor baby uncomfortable on high flow oxygen but still had her eyes open for a minute

In her crib with all her machines

Awe....

The stuffed animal Peyton brought for her from the gift shop even though he couldn't see her

Day Three:

Day Three started out with them still being pretty worried about Miss Addysons breathing. She was trying soooo hard to breath, it hurt to watch her little head bob back and forth and her stomach retract into her ribs.. so sad. But I needed to get home and shower and freshen up to renew myself after my emotional breakdown the night before. Dean came to relieve me and I headed home, of course as soon as I walked in the door, he called and had the news that they had decided to move Addyson to the PICU unit (which is worse than where she was at) and get her on a high flow of oxygen. She would need to be there at least 8 hours and could go back if she progressed. Of course that had to happen while I was gone... made me feel even worse, but I knew she was in good hands! I hurried to shower and hurried back where we entered the PICU. Everything was pretty much the same here, however they had her on a higher flow of oxygen and she seemed to be doing ok with it.. not too bad so we kinda just sat and waited most the day. I was still pretty exhausted but its so hard to want to leave my sweet baby girl. We had a feisty nurse come in for the night and she insisted that I go home to sleep, after about an hour of deliberating I decided Dean and I would both go home to sleep. The PICU is alot different, they have one nurse to every baby that sits here and watches them 24-7.. so I felt alot better. They did however warn us before we left that she was still working pretty hard to breathe and would probably end up putting her on a c pap machine.. a higher dose of oxygen pretty much. We of course were up for anything to make her more comfortable.... so we took off to home to get some sleep!

{DAY 2}

Day Two:

Day two was kinda just a waiting game day. They were a bit concerned about her heavy breathing. When she would breath, her head would bob and her chest would retract, so they kept turning her oxygen up and hoping it would help. They had respiratory therapists in throughout the day and they just kept saying to keep an eye on her. That night Addyson threw up all her food that I had fed her and it had them a little concerned, but they decided just to add some water to her formula to make it less powerful and hoped that would work. Dean went home that night to sleep at home.. I was an emotional wreck... at that point it all hit me. I was an emotional wreck, the shock was gone and the emotions ran wild. You start to blame yourself, to ask yourself what you could have done different, how you could have protected them more. RSV is simply a common cold, but for a baby her age, it can be life threatening. How do you prevent it from happening? It wasn't possible for me to do having Peyton in school and knowing he probably brought it home with him... All sorts of thought and emotions go through your mind... and its hard way hard to see your baby look so awful. So day 2 was really really rough for me. Thank goodness I have a great husband to get me through the hard days. At this point too I started having anxiety by passing Peyton around to people to take care of and not seeing him either. At the end of day two we were all getting worried that Addyson was not getting better, just worse... but they kept us where we were into the night and onto the next day....

Snuggled with mom